More apartment problems

I've decided to use my blogger to bitch and whine about my new apartment.


Woke up at the crack of 6am for work, jumped into the shower and prompty froze.
Rage meter at LVL 3 MAX I ran, sans clothing but drenched, from the bathroom into my living room in search of my cellphone. I wished to yell at the management office for not completely fixing the water heater, like they said they would the day I was moving furniture in. I also decided I would yell at them for making me pay three months in advance as well as the first month due to "credit issues" (Blog Post Sidestory - I was the victim of identity theft and credit card fraud back in 2001), but not giving me the unit I wanted (Blog Gaiden - I was to move into a co-worker's former unit. She would then receive a referral discount on her next lease as she was moving to a larger one).
It was then I realized my living room was a zesty 20 degrees.
Thanks to skin, I deduced a drought was eminating from the large bay window at the face of my living room. However, said window has been closed shut since I first moved in two days prior! Looking up, I realized there was a considerable gap on the upper window pane to the frame. Upper window was not shut. This went unnoticed as it had been 60 degrees or so here in Bucks County until that friday morning, where it promptly dropped to 20. I took it upon myself to shut the upper pane, because my nipples started to resemble Dippin' Dots (2). Climbing up on a stack of record crates, I attempted to push the upper pane as high as possible, while fishing around with my right foot for a roll of Duct Tape laying on the floor. The Duct Tape would then be implemented, after a successful rip n' tear with my teeth, to seal off the gap the cold air was coming through. In a feat of agility that would've made Nightcrawler exclaim something about God in German, I deftly flung the roll in an upwards arch, catching it with an outward-ly stretched right hand.

To whit, I effectively tea-bagged my window with frozen nuts.
There's still a nads-mark on the window pane.
It looks like what I think cat's brains would look like.
Or the top of a cat-sized Abdullah the Butcher's head.

On top of all this Wes, a friend who helped me move in, drank an entire bottle of Patron Gold I had purchased for myself when I wasn't looking.