By Crom!

A close friend of mine was laid off from her job, the same job I was laid off from almost exactly a year ago. I thought back to many of the friends I made over my five years there, which led to all of the idiosyncrasies that nagged and annoyed me.
Many of my co-workers were religious (read: SUPER CHRISTIAN) types. There's nothing wrong with faith, but there's everything wrong when your cubicle is over-laden with so many religious tsotchkes that it overflows into the surrounding cubicles.

And I wouldn't mind the little God-related affirmations posted all over the multitude of cubicles and desks if just one extra phrase was inserted into each of them:

AN ANGRY


So, instead of "Each Day is a Gift from God", the tiny little heart-shaped frame on her desk would contain the phrase:


EACH DAY IS A GIFT FROM AN ANGRY GOD!


Specifically Crom, the God of Steel and Battle.
























The implication being that we should cherish each day that we are allowed to continue existing, for at any moment Crom may fix his baleful eye on us according to his cold, capricious whimsy.
And blast us into oblivion as he laughs from his eternal mountaintop.


So yes, be thankful for each day. But do not pray to Crom.

He does not listen.