Eine XenBoxen

Email from my boss today:


so im playing UNO (yes, UNO) on xboxlive against 4 other people. this one chick named Dolci89 or something like that has her xboxlive vision camera hooked up. so instead of seeing her avatar, you see a small video screen of her playing the game while we're all playing a round of UNO. shes a cute little brunette. so we are all talking about random crap and playing a few hands of UNO. all of a sudden its her turn and shes not putting down a card. i look at her video screen and shes taking off her shirt. she pops off her bra and starts shaking her breasts at the camera!!!! im laughing hysterically. she then holds up some peice of paper with some pron site scribbled on it. so this other person we're playing with who hasnt been talking named Jazzman23434 or something like that all of a sudden plugs in their mic and we start hearing screaming in the background. me and the other guy playing are dying laughing. jazzman starts to talk. its some old lady. she starts screaming "YOU FILTHY DEVIL HOOKER!! MY 6 YEAR OLD NEICE IS PLAYING RIGHT NOW!"
The girl gets back on and and starts bitching out the old lady.

i have never laughed so hard at a video game. im so happy that pr0n has invaded the xbox.

I'm having a cranky day at work

So i'll complain about something else.

I spent the early part of my evening watching a short-form improv show/final at a local junior college.
Everything I was told not to do at UCB was done, and even encouraged by the show's director.
Jokes at the expense of the other performers, ignoring games, black-outs (yuck), reliance on meme/pop-culture catchphrases for cheap laughs, and the director opening the evening with the line "Who likes 'Whose Line is it Anyway'?!?!? That's what we're doing tonight!!!"

Photo and link unrelated:

More apartment problems

I've decided to use my blogger to bitch and whine about my new apartment.


Woke up at the crack of 6am for work, jumped into the shower and prompty froze.
Rage meter at LVL 3 MAX I ran, sans clothing but drenched, from the bathroom into my living room in search of my cellphone. I wished to yell at the management office for not completely fixing the water heater, like they said they would the day I was moving furniture in. I also decided I would yell at them for making me pay three months in advance as well as the first month due to "credit issues" (Blog Post Sidestory - I was the victim of identity theft and credit card fraud back in 2001), but not giving me the unit I wanted (Blog Gaiden - I was to move into a co-worker's former unit. She would then receive a referral discount on her next lease as she was moving to a larger one).
It was then I realized my living room was a zesty 20 degrees.
Thanks to skin, I deduced a drought was eminating from the large bay window at the face of my living room. However, said window has been closed shut since I first moved in two days prior! Looking up, I realized there was a considerable gap on the upper window pane to the frame. Upper window was not shut. This went unnoticed as it had been 60 degrees or so here in Bucks County until that friday morning, where it promptly dropped to 20. I took it upon myself to shut the upper pane, because my nipples started to resemble Dippin' Dots (2). Climbing up on a stack of record crates, I attempted to push the upper pane as high as possible, while fishing around with my right foot for a roll of Duct Tape laying on the floor. The Duct Tape would then be implemented, after a successful rip n' tear with my teeth, to seal off the gap the cold air was coming through. In a feat of agility that would've made Nightcrawler exclaim something about God in German, I deftly flung the roll in an upwards arch, catching it with an outward-ly stretched right hand.

To whit, I effectively tea-bagged my window with frozen nuts.
There's still a nads-mark on the window pane.
It looks like what I think cat's brains would look like.
Or the top of a cat-sized Abdullah the Butcher's head.

On top of all this Wes, a friend who helped me move in, drank an entire bottle of Patron Gold I had purchased for myself when I wasn't looking.

Iceman

What the hell is the point of installing a new water heater in a new apartment if it doesn't work all the time, and then when it does I have to wait 45 minutes for it to work?

I like the internet

I like the internet, specifcally weblogs.
It allows the self publisher the ability to record memories and emotions and erase them with impunity.

It's quite vindicating.