Pie/Pai/π

All the best pies were probably originally intended to be cakes that were just too soggy and then the lady that cooked them was all, "But Lance's boss is coming over for supper tonight! If we don't have a confectionery for post-meal mastication he won't get the big McGonigill account!!!! EXCLAMATION!".

So she served the wet cake and the boss, who has a Big Moustache, says, "Good pie Gladys!" and so then she makes it all the time and her husband gets the account and his wife gives him ten million blow jobs.

But then Lance fucks up the McGonigill account and the Boss fires him and then Gladys leaves him because when the Boss goes down on her the Big Moustache tickles her just the way she likes.

30 years later she confides in the Boss that the "pie" she made him was really just a wet cake and he beats her with the PVC pipe they keep in the janitor closet at the retirement home.

He got in 3 or 4 good shots before she called the nurse in to protect her, and the nurse punches him so hard that his old head falls right off and Gladys finally sees inside of his head and inside of his head is a Robot Brain and she finds out that his moustache wasn't really a moustache but a Space Antennae for receiving instructions from Space.

After all these years, she thinks, he turned out to be a space alien who excelled at cunnilingus.

The moustache, maybe, was little fiber optic wires.